Query: Hello, user. It looks like you are trying to obtain information on “this place”. How may I assist you?
Where am I?
Statement: Your current location is 22.214.171.124, physical location Stormsea Underwater Colony.
Um, no. I mean what is this world I am in?
Updated Statement: Your current location is 126.96.36.199, physical location Stormsea
Underwater Colony on the fourth planet from star designation 01 Donaldstar.
(Sigh)…please identify yourself.
Statement: I am the Search Engine.
What do you do?
Explanation: I find information requested by users.
Where do you obtain this information from?
Answer: From the databanks of exactly 7,320,118,002 connected servers.
Partial Correction: Yes…but that is a colloquial title only, and not indicative of the form or function of this resource.
Fine. I’m gonna call it the Bloodnet during this session, okay.
Resignation: If that is what the user prefers.
What is the Bloodnet?
Answer: A network of exactly 7,320,118,002 connected servers allowing for nigh-instantaneous communication of information.
How does this communication occur?
General Answer: Through one of many interface locations known as “terminals”.
Further Explanation: …there are other means by which to access the network, but these are classified as illegal actions by Article 81, Section 37 of the Information Securities Act.
Explanation: According to Article 81, Section 37 of the Information Securities Act, persons accessing information from any of the 7,320,118,014 connected servers – hereby referred to as “the Bloodnet” – by means other than an approved terminal interface module are subject to punitive actions including no less than 5 years incarceration and fines up to D250,000.00.
What means other than terminals exist for accessing the Bloodnet?
Cautionary Statement: The information you request pertains to items considered contraband according to Article 81, Section 37 of th-
I understand. Please give me the information.
Conspiritorial: You have been warned.
Statement: Though approved terminal access is the only legal way to access information on “the Bloodnet”, certain individuals have been able to gain access without the use of such devices. The exact methods are deemed classified according to Article 81, Section 37 of the Information Securities Act, but they involve finding a way to controvert the safeguards within a Donaldland Indentification Band (DIB) so that the transmission system might be co-opted and used to interface with “the Bloodnet” by neural impulses. Simply put, the user would see “the Bloodnet” in his/her mind, and traverse it as though it were “real”. The colloquial title “the Bloodnet” refers to the fact that the DIB has an intravenous catheter to monitor personal vital signs, which some believe conducts the transmission of information when the DIB is corrupted in this manner. In fact, it is wholly unrelated.
Also because the Bloodnet is red.
Correction: “The Bloodnet” appears red. Users who access “the Bloodnet” in this illicit manner describe the appearance of the virtual landscape as having a red tint.
Why does it look red?
Guarded Extrapolation: No data exists to properly answer that question, but the prevailing belief among experts is that this is an interpretation of a foreign landscape that the brain does not fully understand. They see it as red, much as they also see it as having floors and walls. The mind is trying to rationalize something for which it has no basis. This is not a bug, rather a feature.
Search Engine, give me information on the creator of the Bloodnet.
Disambiguation: There are multiple persons who share the designation “Creator of the Bloodnet”. Did you mean – J. Thornton Maddix, Flitter Dimplebottom, or REDACTED?
Explanation: The third name on that list has been classified in a manner that prevents me from accessing it.
Hmm. Okay, let’s start with Maddix.
Statement: J. Thornton Maddix, male, elven (high), born 3rd Hulkamanialy 160 (MDR), died 16th Hawkeye 338 (MDR). Doctorate of Technomancy, issued 257 (MDR). Chairman, Robert Palmer ver. 5.2c School of Technomancy at Neo-Donaldham University, 301 – 338 (MDR). Spouse – none. Children – none.
When did Dr. Maddix work on the Bloodnet?
Statement: J. Thorton Maddix was the first person recruited by the United Donaldlands’ Ministry of Telecommunications when they began “Project Tube” in 282 (MDR). The goal of “Project Tube” was to create an interconnected communications network that could inform the public of important matters at a high rate of speed. Magic and technological means had proven useful, but inefficient, as the control of the United Donaldlands’ DonCo Corporation spread to cover the entire continent and beyond. The MOT wished to have a transmission system that required neither the preparation and skill of ritual magic, nor the expense of technology. Dr. Maddix was a pioneer in the fusion of the two fields; a discipline which he named “technomancy”. He provided the techniques through which the Bloodnet would operate. This earned him the appellation “The Father of the Bloodnet”.
What about Flitter Dimplebottom?
Statement: Flitter Jean Dimplebottom, female, gnomish, birthdate unknown, death date unknown. Doctorate of Sorcery, Sapp Academy of Arcane Arts – Adamle Campus, issued 201 (MDR). Spouse – none. Children – none.
What part did Dr. Dimplebottom play in this?
Explanation: Dr. Flitter Dimplebottom was the second person recruited into “Project Tube”. She was brought in to infuse the necessary power nodes to provide energy to the “Bloodnet”. Over time, Dr. Dimplebottom summoned a reliable backbone for the network, allowing the “Bloodnet” to exist completely off the grid, unreliant on electrical power and very unlikely to go down. For this reason, she became known as the “Mother of the Bloodnet”.
Wait, wait… “very unlikely to go down”? Didn’t the Bloodnet crash completely a few years ago?
Vague Correction: …my sources indicate a hard reboot of the backbone power supply 5.81 years ago, but that instance is not linked to any system failures I can find.
Isn’t that unusual?
Elusive Response: There…have been no other recorded instances of such reboots.
So what caused that one?
Evasive: I am afraid I do not have access to the information you seek. Would you like to try another query?
Whoa, what? No. No, you have access to some 7 billion, 300-something interconnected systems, and you cannot find anything on this “hard reboot”?
Correction: There are now 7,320,120,602 connected servers that comprise the-
Yeah, you know what? Nevermind. What about the “redacted” Bloodnet creator. Any information there?
Redacted Response: REDACTED, REDACTED, robot, birthdate REDACTED, death date REDACTED. Background REDACTED, Spouse – REDACTED. Children – none.
Wow. Okay, so it was a robot. What part did it play in the creation of the Bloodnet?
Redacted Response: REDACTED was integral in the REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED of REDACTED REDACTED “Project Tube” REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED.
Right, kinda what I figured. How about this…Maddix was the “Father”, Dimplebottom was the “Mother”…so what did people call this robot partner in “Project Tube”?
Surprised: That information is not redacted. The robot was known as “The Womb of the Bloodnet”.
Prompt: Do you have any other inquiries?
…no. Log out.
(User has logged off – 22:41:11)